Creativity, Mysticism, and Doubt

By Tom Keydel

For a long time I have been fascinated by the interrelationship between Creativity, Mysticism, and Doubt, and now, as Linda Jenkins and I begin to shape the content of our upcoming series, "Finding our Creative Voices," I am more and more drawn to seeking out what these ideas have to tell me. I would like to build some framework as to why having "a creative voice" feels important, and how I might share its importance with others (not that it has to be important, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it is).

Let me start by offering some definitions and comments about how my creative voice operates in my life.

Creativity is the spontaneous act of the muse. It is that involuntary calling forth of irrepressible images or messages that demand attention. My creative sensibility has its own life, borrowing (or taking) "my life" from time to time to serve as the necessary conduit for its expression. I don't have control over my creative voice which simultaneously is exhilarating and frightening. (What is it trying to say to me and why do its demands seem so important?)

In a similar, but different fashion, Mysticism is that direct apprehension of God or spiritual truth that confounds (or inverts) conventional reality. Mysticism always stands apart from what we know and it is always more deeply unifying than anything that we could consciously construct. It is like the silence between individually spoken words. Absolutely necessary to comprehension, but the actual "text" of silence is absolutely ineffable. We receive so much from it that nothing we say can capture it all. Some of the exhilaration that I feel when exploring my creativity comes from getting closer to what is mystical — to feel its presence in my everyday life and know (really know) that it is a gift.

But then, as always, my doubt gets in the way of accepting even this gift (like all Doubting Thomas's I suppose). Not in a negative sense as in, "Stop doubting what you feel", but rather in a positive sense, as in the proverbial knock on the door, the knock inviting further exploration, "Are you sure that you really know that?"

To question a certainty (which is my definition of doubt) is to risk the proof of one's "common sense." And whatever is mystical, or whatever is creative for that matter, always risks the proof of one's common sense, since doubt asks us to transcend the surface for our knowing so that we can see more deeply into the everyday. In a state of doubt, we "touch the light fantastic" as it were, by opening up to whatever lies more deeply buried. Doubters have one finger on the truth, for they know that true knowledge is fleeting and lasts only so long as one is willingly open to its very annihilation -- an important concept for anyone choosing to be creative.

In sum, let me use an analogy. Every great story is about an individual who risks his or her life only to find it revealed in some way. Great passion requires that you risk everything, offer it up, put it on the line, say with the essence of your life what to you really matters. In comedy, the protagonist risks life foolishly only to have it returned with greater knowledge about him or herself. In tragedy, the protagonist risks life unknowingly and only later finds out, at the end, the true wages offered up to the gods through his or her action.

Involuntary. Excruciating. Unforgiving.

But that really is the essence of everyday life, because we are always giving our lives away to whatever we put our lives into. We are creative because the muse demands from us something that we must attend to — a life we call our own. We touch the light fantastic because we are always more than the "everyday" common sense of our lives. We always live in doubt because the fact of our death ultimately puts everything that we are about on the very edge of annihilation. And that really is a great gift. We proclaim that which we are willing to die for by dying incrementally every moment, slowly accumulating "the facts" of our death by choosing to live in and through the existential "time in our lives" creatively, mystically, and constantly in doubt.

Wrenching isn't it? Come explore what your creative voice is trying to say to you. What it tells you is probably more than you ever imagined! +

Finding Our Creative Voices Thursday nights - Jan 7, 14, 21, 28 and March 4, 11, and 25 at 6:30 p.m. at OSC Tuesday night - March 16 at 6:30 p.m. at OSC Linda Jenkins and Tom Keydel are planning to offer an eight-session series for those interested in creative writing as a way into the soul. We will be using the book "The Artist Way" by Julia Cameron as a basis for our work together. The first four meetings will be to discuss and work through the roadblocks that prevent us from exercising our creativity. The last four sessions will be to develop the necessary habits that will enable us to sustain our creative energy. We will be breaking for the month of February to allow time for the creative development . We encourage people to use whatever medium of creativity suits them. No one medium of expression will be favored. If you need more information, contact either Tom (617-738-1744) or Linda (978-740-0074).

To contact the author, click here Tom Keydel

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