The Secret

My father and brothers
huddled their maleness together
in a triumvirate of secrecy,
with posture and whisperings
that signaled disaster.
Female and barely six years old,
I was too young and fragile
for the truth,
and having learned my place in the family
remained silent.

I was not too young to read, however.
In its nightly ritual,
the paper thumped against the door,
its sound stunning our silence.
The front page told of what was to become
the timeline for all other events.
I read each word.
Phrases still trouble me:
"On King Street the trolley
travels against the flow of traffic". . .
"caught in the cowcatcher". . .
"her hat and shoe in one block,
the other shoe in the next". . .
"critical condition". . .
Still just six years old,
I readied the breakfast table
for the men
as mother would want.
She would not be there and
I would not be hungry.

-- Joan Peck Arnold 1998

[Editor's Note: "The Secret" won the "Outstanding Work" award in the Marblehead Arts Festival Poetry Contest in the summer of 1998. We also learned after our publication date that Janet Eldred's poem in last quarter's issue, Fall 98, "Autumn" won a recent poetry competition for the Areopagus Magazine in the UK. It also appears in their Autumn '98 issue. Congratulations to both Joan & Janet!]